Age Gaps in Relationships: Which Partner Is Happier?

Most people date or marry a significant other whose age is within a couple of years of their own. However, relationships or marriages with an age gap of up to decades are becoming increasingly common. The psychological dynamics in such relationships are not well understood, as only a few scientific studies have focused on them. One question that is especially important but not well understood from a scientific perspective is whether both partners are equally happy in a relationship with an age gap, or whether one partner is systematically happier than the other. Moreover, it would be important to know whether it is typically the younger or the older partner who is happier in a relationship with an age gap.

A new study on relationship satisfaction in age-gap relationships

To fill this gap in the psychological literature, a new study focused on well-being and different aspects of relationship satisfaction in age-gap relationships (Banbury and co-workers, 2025). The research team, led by Samantha Banbury of the Psychology Department at London Metropolitan University in the UK, analysed data from 126 volunteers. All volunteers had an age gap of at least 7 years in their relationship. The sample included both younger people dating older partners, and older people dating younger partners. Each volunteer filled out several questionnaires about their relationship or themselves. For example, a questionnaire on well-being, a questionnaire on relationship satisfaction, and a questionnaire about attitudes toward dating were given to the volunteers, among others.

What did the researchers find out?

The scientists used advanced statistical models to compare the data. One interesting effect was observed regarding relationship satisfaction. For men, it was observed that heterosexual men dating a woman at least 7 years younger than themselves had a substantially higher overall relationship satisfaction than men dating women at least 7 years older than them. The same was found for homosexual men. In this group, men dating a partner at least 7 years younger than themselves had higher relationship satisfaction than men dating a partner at least 7 years older than themselves. Interestingly, no such effect was found in women, indicating that they could be equally satisfied in a relationship with a significantly younger or a significantly older partner, unlike men.

For well-being, no significant effect was found in either men or women.

Regarding sexual satisfaction, it was found that both heterosexual and homosexual men and women were significantly happier with a younger compared to an older partner.

Another variable that was investigated was perceived financial stability in the relationship. Here, younger women who dated older men and younger men who dated older men showed a significant effect, showing that these groups perceived financial stability as higher with an older partner compared to being with a younger partner. Such an effect was interestingly not found for younger men dating older women or younger women dating older women.

Conclusion

Taken together, the question of whether the younger or the older partner is happier in an age-gap relationship is easy to answer based on the study: The result showed that it is overwhelmingly the older partner who is more satisfied with the various aspects of the relationship, not the younger. That was especially true for men!